50 Funny Jokes for Guaranteed Belly Laughs

Jokes for Kids

• Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Nahhh, it's too cheesy!
• What did the buffalo say when his son left? Bison!
• What do you call a cold dog? A chili dog.
• Where do you learn to make banana splits? At sundae school.
• What do you call a lion with no eyes? Lon
• What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved.
• I try not to tell dad jokes. But when I do, he thinks they’re really funny.
• What do cakes and baseball teams have in common? They both need a good batter.
• Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snow bank.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

 

Short Jokes

 

• Why are horses so sleepy? They’re always hitting the hay.
• What did one hat say to the other? You wait here. I’ll go on a head.
• What insect is the sneakiest? Spy-ders.
• Why are trees so unreliable? They’re shady.
• Why was the broom late for work? It over-swept.
• Why are bunnies so great at catch? They always g-rabbit!
• What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!
• Why did the two rabbits get on so well? Love was in the hare.
• What’s it called when french fries hang out? A ketchup.
• What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts

 

Jokes for Co-Workers

• How does NASA organize a party? They planet.
• What is a computer’s first sign of old age? Loss of memory.
• My boss asked me how good I was at making spreadsheets.
  I told him I Excel at it.
• Why was there a bug in the computer? It was looking for a byte to eat.
• What do computers like to eat? Chips.
• Where will you find Friday before Thursday? A dictionary.
• I pity the calendar. Its days are numbered.
• Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad.
• How do you stay warm in any room? Go to the corner — it’s always 90 degrees.
• Why did the developer go broke? Because he used up all his cache

 

Jokes for Friends

• Why are Undertakers such good tippers? They pay an arm and a leg.
• What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reali-tea
• What is a cloud's least favorite exercise? Yoga. It struggles to feel grounded.
• I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
• What questions should you never ask while winter skating? Icebreakers.
• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
• What snack never gets mad? Pickles. They’re cool as a cucumber.
• Why did the robber jump in the shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
• What classic bar game do swimmers always win? Pool.
• Besides a rake and shovel, what tool do all gardeners need? A yardstick.

Knock-Knock Jokes

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Boo.
  Boo who?
  Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
• Knock Knock.
  Who's there?
  Sherwood!
  Sherwood who?
  Sherwood like to come in!
• Knock, knock.
  Who's there?
  To.
  To who?
  No, it’s actually "to whom."
• Knock knock.
  Who's there?
  Radio.
  Radio who?
  Radi-o not, here I come.
• Knock, knock.
  Who's there?
  Lettuce.
  Lettuce who?
  Lettuce in, it's cold out here.
• Knock, knock.
  Who's there?
  Cow says.
  Cow says who?
  No, a cow says mooooo!
• Knock knock.
  Who's there?
  Robin.
  Robin who?
  Robin you. Give me your money!
• Knock Knock.
  Who's there?
  Butter!
  Butter who?
  Butter bring an umbrella, it looks like it might rain!
• Knock, Knock.
  Who's there?
  Goat.
  Goat who?
  Goat to the door and find out.
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Anita.
  Anita who?
  Anita use the bathroom, please open the door!