90 Halloween Jokes That Are So Funny, It’s Scary

 

Funny Halloween Trick-or-Treat Jokes

• Why did the mortician clock out of work early? He was dying to leave.
• Did you hear about the evil hen? It lays deviled eggs.
• What kind of witch likes to go to the beach? A sandwich.
• Why didn't the mom let the little witch go trick or treating with her friends? She was ex-spelled from school.
• What is white, black and dead all over? A zombie trick or treating in a tuxedo.
• When do zombies finish trick or treating? When they are dead tired.
• Why shouldn't an angry witch take her broom trick or treating? She might fly off the handle.
• How do ghosts do their makeup before they go out trick or treating? They use vanishing cream.
• What do vampires take to get around on Halloween night? A blood vessel.
• Why did the skeleton run away? Because a dog was after his bones.
• How did the skeleton know it was going to rain on Halloween? He felt it in his bones.
• How did the zombie become great a trick or treating? Dead-ication.
• What is a vampire's favorite halloween candy? A sucker.
• How does a witch know the best time to go trick or treating? She checks her witch watch.
• What is a monster's favorite halloween candy? Bugs and (Hershey's) kisses.
• Why didn't anyone want to go trick or treating with Dracula? Because he is a pain in the neck.
• Why don't skeletons like Halloween candy? They don't have the stomach for it.
• What kind of car does Frankenstein drive on Halloween night? A monster truck.
• What do birds give to trick-or-treaters? Tweets.
• Where do ghosts like to trick or treat? At dead ends.
• Who gives Dracula the most candy on Halloween? His fang-club.
• What is a ghoul's favorite candy flavor? Lemon slime.
• Why don't vampires eat a lot of Halloween candy? They're afraid of tooth decay.
• What is a baby ghost's favorite game to play on Halloween? Peek-a-boo.
• What did the child say when they had to choose between their tricycle and candy? Trike or treat.
• What does a turkey dress up as on Halloween? A goblin.
• Who does a werewolf go trick or treating with? His cousins What wolf and When wolf.
• Where do werewolves store all of their Halloween candy? In a werehouse.
• What do birds say on Halloween? "Trick or tweet!"
• Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no-body to go with.
• Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy? At the ghost-ery store!
• What do owls say when they go trick or treating? "Happy Owl-ween!"
• What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters? Booberries!
• Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with? His ghoul friend.
• What Halloween candy is never on time for the party? Choco-LATE!
• What do witches put on to go trick or treating? Mas-scare-a.
• What does Bigfoot say when he asks for candy? "Trick-or-feet!"
• Which type of pants do ghosts wear to trick or treat? Boo jeans.
• What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging? You never know which witch is which!
• What happens when a vampire tries to trick or treat in the snow? Frost bite!
• What do you call two witches trick or treating together? Broommates

Hilarious Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes

• Knock, knock! Who's there? Bat. Bat who? Bat you don't know who's knocking!
• Knock, knock! Who's there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of you has the candy
• Knock, knock! Who's there? Owl. Owl who? Correct.
• Knock, Knock! Who's there? Getyur. Getyur who? Getyur fangs outta my neck!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ooze. Ooze who? Ooze that monster over there?
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice Cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a ghost!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda go for a ride on my broomstick?
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howie. Howie who? Howie gonna hide this dead body?
• Knock, Knock! Who's there? Ghost says! Ghost says who? No, ghost says boo!
• Knock, Knock! Who's there? Woo! Woo who? Yeah, I'm excited for Halloween too!
  
• Knock, Knock! Who's there? Frank! Frank who? Frankenstein.
  
• Knock, Knock! Who's there? Essen! Essen who? Essen it fun to listen to Halloween jokes.
  
• Knock, Knock! Who's there? Fozzie! Fozzie who? Fozzie hundredth time, trick or treat!
  
• Knock, Knock! Who's there? Iran! Iran who? Iran over here to get some Halloween candy.
  
• Knock, Knock! Who's there? Justin! Justin who? Justin time for Halloween.
  
• Knock, Knock! Who's there? Al! Al who? Al exchange Twizzlers for Skittles.
  
• Knock, Knock! Who's there? Diane! Diane who? I'm Diane to eat my Halloween candy.
  
• Knock, Knock! Who's there? Canoe! Canoe who? Canoe please give me more candy.
• Knock, Knock! Who's there? Imogen! Imogen who? Imogen Halloween without trick or treating.

Cute Halloween Food Jokes

• What's a monster's favorite dessert? Leeches and scream.
• Why did the scarecrow comedian get booed? Because all of his jokes were corny.
• What did the happy pumpkin say? Life is gourd.
• Which plants love Halloween the most? Bam-Boo!
• What do you get when you drop a pumpkin from the roof? Squash.
• What is a zombie's favorite kind of food? Brain food.
• What is a ghost's favorite kind of drink? Ghoul-aid.
• What did the skeleton bring to the dinner party? Spare-ribs.
• Why did the scarecrow decline dessert? He was already stuffed.
• What does a little witch use to bake? An easy bake coven.
• What does a ghost put on his turkey? Grave-y.
• How do monsters prepare their eggs? Terror-fried.
• What is a monster's favorite cheese? Munster.
• What kind of cereal does a ghost have for breakfast? Rice Creepies.
• What is Dracula's favorite cake flavor? Vein-ella.
• Where do ghosts shop for all of their meals? The ghostery store.
• How does the scarecrow like to drink his milk? With a straw.
• Where does a vampire eat his lunch? In the casketeria.
• What is a zombie's least favorite candy? Life Savers.
• Why do skeletons love to drink milk? It's good for the bones.
• What is a skeleton's favorite snack? A cinnabone.
• What does a werewolf eat for breakfast? A pooched egg.
• Who do monsters buy their cookies from? Ghoul scouts.

• Why was all of the food gone at the end of the Halloween party? Everyone was a goblin.
• What is a zombie's favorite kind of bean? A human bean.
• What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit? A straw-berry.
• How do you spell candy with only two letters? C and Y.
• Why couldn't the coffee bean go to the Halloween party? It was grounded.
• Why don't witches like Starbucks coffee? They prefer to brew their own.
• Why don't monsters eat popcorn with their fingers? They eat fingers separately.
• What is a mummy's favorite thing to eat for lunch? A chicken wrap.
• What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
• What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal? "Bone Appetit!"
• What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine!
• What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.
• What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spook-ghetti!
• What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs.
• What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
• What tops off a mummy’s ice cream sundae? Whipped scream.
• What’s a ghost's favorite yogurt flavor? Boo-berry!
• What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal? A steak!
• Why was the candy corn booed off the stage? All of his jokes were too corny!

Monster Jokes

• What did the ghost say when it fell down? I got a boo-boo.
• Why did the zombie take a nap? It was dead on its feet.
• Did you hear about the vampire feud? There was bad blood.
• Why do vampires avoid the cold? They don’t want to get frostbite.
• What type of Halloween books do pumpkins write? Pulp fiction.
• Why is Christmas a mummy’s favorite holiday? He gets to do all the wrapping.
• How do ghosts get their hair to stay in place? They use scare-spray.
• Why did the vampire fail art? He only knew how to draw blood.
• What are a monster’s favorite pets? Creepy crawlies.
• What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurry? Spooktacles.
• Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend!
• What do ghosts use to wash their hair? Sham-boo!
• What’s a mummy’s favorite way to relax? Solving cryptograms.
• What do you call a skeleton that is cleaning up? The grim sweeper.
• How do zombies serve the country? In the Marine Corpse.
• What did the zombie say to his date? I love a woman with brains.
• Who won the dance contest at the Halloween ball? The boogie man.
• What holiday does a vampire love more than Halloween? Fangs-giving.
• Why did the witch take a nap? She wanted to rest a spell.
• What did the ghost teacher say to the class? Keep your eyes on the board while I go through it again.
• What do you say when you catch a ghost? I got you, boo!
• What does a zombie wear to make their eyes pop? Ma-scare-a!
• How does a ghost cry when it’s sad? Boo! Hoo.
• What do you do when zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween.
• What position does a ghost play in hockey? Ghoulie.
• How do you turn the lights out on Halloween night? Use the lights witch.
• What is in a ghost’s nose? Boo-gers.
• What do you call a skeleton who never does his chores? Lazy bones.
• What did one ghost say to the other? Do you believe in humans?
• How do ghosts send letters? Through the ghost office.
• What does a ghost call a mistake? A boo boo.
• What do ghosts dress up in on Halloween? Pillowcases.
• What do you call two spiders that were just married? Newley webbed.
• What did a zombie tell the other? Get a life!
• What do you call two married spiders? The newly webs.
• Why did the witch take a nap? She needed to rest a spell.
• Where do ghost parents take baby ghosts? Day-scare.
• What transportation does a skeleton take? A skelecopter.