Funny Halloween Trick-or-Treat Jokes
- Why did the mortician clock out of work early? He was dying to leave.
- Did you hear about the evil hen? It lays deviled eggs.
- What kind of witch likes to go to the beach? A sandwich.
- Why didn't the mom let the little witch go trick or treating with her friends? She was ex-spelled from school.
- What is white, black and dead all over? A zombie trick or treating in a tuxedo.
- When do zombies finish trick or treating? When they are dead tired.
- Why shouldn't an angry witch take her broom trick or treating? She might fly off the handle.
- How do ghosts do their makeup before they go out trick or treating? They use vanishing cream.
- What do vampires take to get around on Halloween night? A blood vessel.
- Why did the skeleton run away? Because a dog was after his bones.
- How did the skeleton know it was going to rain on Halloween? He felt it in his bones.
- How did the zombie become great a trick or treating? Dead-ication.
- What is a vampire's favorite halloween candy? A sucker.
- How does a witch know the best time to go trick or treating? She checks her witch watch.
- What is a monster's favorite halloween candy? Bugs and (Hershey's) kisses.
- Why didn't anyone want to go trick or treating with Dracula? Because he is a pain in the neck.
- Why don't skeletons like Halloween candy? They don't have the stomach for it.
- What kind of car does Frankenstein drive on Halloween night? A monster truck.
- What do birds give to trick-or-treaters? Tweets.
- Where do ghosts like to trick or treat? At dead ends.
- Who gives Dracula the most candy on Halloween? His fang-club.
- What is a ghoul's favorite candy flavor? Lemon slime.
- Why don't vampires eat a lot of Halloween candy? They're afraid of tooth decay.
- What is a baby ghost's favorite game to play on Halloween? Peek-a-boo.
- What did the child say when they had to choose between their tricycle and candy? Trike or treat.
- What does a turkey dress up as on Halloween? A goblin.
- Who does a werewolf go trick or treating with? His cousins What wolf and When wolf.
- Where do werewolves store all of their Halloween candy? In a werehouse.
- What do birds say on Halloween? "Trick or tweet!"
- Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no-body to go with.
- Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy? At the ghost-ery store!
- What do owls say when they go trick or treating? "Happy Owl-ween!"
- What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters? Booberries!
- Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with? His ghoul friend.
- What Halloween candy is never on time for the party? Choco-LATE!
- What do witches put on to go trick or treating? Mas-scare-a.
- What does Bigfoot say when he asks for candy? "Trick-or-feet!"
- Which type of pants do ghosts wear to trick or treat? Boo jeans.
- What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging? You never know which witch is which!
- What happens when a vampire tries to trick or treat in the snow? Frost bite!
- What do you call two witches trick or treating together? Broommates
Hilarious Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Bat. Bat who? Bat you don't know who's knocking!
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of you has the candy
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Owl. Owl who? Correct.
- Knock, Knock! Who's there? Getyur. Getyur who? Getyur fangs outta my neck!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ooze. Ooze who? Ooze that monster over there?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice Cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a ghost!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda go for a ride on my broomstick?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howie. Howie who? Howie gonna hide this dead body?
- Knock, Knock! Who's there? Ghost says! Ghost says who? No, ghost says boo!
- Knock, Knock! Who's there? Woo! Woo who? Yeah, I'm excited for Halloween too!
- Knock, Knock! Who's there? Frank! Frank who? Frankenstein.
- Knock, Knock! Who's there? Essen! Essen who? Essen it fun to listen to Halloween jokes.
- Knock, Knock! Who's there? Fozzie! Fozzie who? Fozzie hundredth time, trick or treat!
- Knock, Knock! Who's there? Iran! Iran who? Iran over here to get some Halloween candy.
- Knock, Knock! Who's there? Justin! Justin who? Justin time for Halloween.
- Knock, Knock! Who's there? Al! Al who? Al exchange Twizzlers for Skittles.
- Knock, Knock! Who's there? Diane! Diane who? I'm Diane to eat my Halloween candy.
- Knock, Knock! Who's there? Canoe! Canoe who? Canoe please give me more candy.
- Knock, Knock! Who's there? Imogen! Imogen who? Imogen Halloween without trick or treating.
Cute Halloween Food Jokes
- What's a monster's favorite dessert? Leeches and scream.
- Why did the scarecrow comedian get booed? Because all of his jokes were corny.
- What did the happy pumpkin say? Life is gourd.
- Which plants love Halloween the most? Bam-Boo!
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin from the roof? Squash.
- What is a zombie's favorite kind of food? Brain food.
- What is a ghost's favorite kind of drink? Ghoul-aid.
- What did the skeleton bring to the dinner party? Spare-ribs.
- Why did the scarecrow decline dessert? He was already stuffed.
- What does a little witch use to bake? An easy bake coven.
- What does a ghost put on his turkey? Grave-y.
- How do monsters prepare their eggs? Terror-fried.
- What is a monster's favorite cheese? Munster.
- What kind of cereal does a ghost have for breakfast? Rice Creepies.
- What is Dracula's favorite cake flavor? Vein-ella.
- Where do ghosts shop for all of their meals? The ghostery store.
- How does the scarecrow like to drink his milk? With a straw.
- Where does a vampire eat his lunch? In the casketeria.
- What is a zombie's least favorite candy? Life Savers.
- Why do skeletons love to drink milk? It's good for the bones.
- What is a skeleton's favorite snack? A cinnabone.
- What does a werewolf eat for breakfast? A pooched egg.
- Who do monsters buy their cookies from? Ghoul scouts.
- Why was all of the food gone at the end of the Halloween party? Everyone was a goblin.
- What is a zombie's favorite kind of bean? A human bean.
- What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit? A straw-berry.
- How do you spell candy with only two letters? C and Y.
- Why couldn't the coffee bean go to the Halloween party? It was grounded.
- Why don't witches like Starbucks coffee? They prefer to brew their own.
- Why don't monsters eat popcorn with their fingers? They eat fingers separately.
- What is a mummy's favorite thing to eat for lunch? A chicken wrap.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
- What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal? "Bone Appetit!"
- What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine!
- What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.
- What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spook-ghetti!
- What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs.
- What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
- What tops off a mummy’s ice cream sundae? Whipped scream.
- What’s a ghost's favorite yogurt flavor? Boo-berry!
- What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal? A steak!
- Why was the candy corn booed off the stage? All of his jokes were too corny!
Monster Jokes
- What did the ghost say when it fell down? I got a boo-boo.
- Why did the zombie take a nap? It was dead on its feet.
- Did you hear about the vampire feud? There was bad blood.
- Why do vampires avoid the cold? They don’t want to get frostbite.
- What type of Halloween books do pumpkins write? Pulp fiction.
- Why is Christmas a mummy’s favorite holiday? He gets to do all the wrapping.
- How do ghosts get their hair to stay in place? They use scare-spray.
- Why did the vampire fail art? He only knew how to draw blood.
- What are a monster’s favorite pets? Creepy crawlies.
- What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurry? Spooktacles.
- Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend!
- What do ghosts use to wash their hair? Sham-boo!
- What’s a mummy’s favorite way to relax? Solving cryptograms.
- What do you call a skeleton that is cleaning up? The grim sweeper.
- How do zombies serve the country? In the Marine Corpse.
- What did the zombie say to his date? I love a woman with brains.
- Who won the dance contest at the Halloween ball? The boogie man.
- What holiday does a vampire love more than Halloween? Fangs-giving.
- Why did the witch take a nap? She wanted to rest a spell.
- What did the ghost teacher say to the class? Keep your eyes on the board while I go through it again.
- What do you say when you catch a ghost? I got you, boo!
- What does a zombie wear to make their eyes pop? Ma-scare-a!
- How does a ghost cry when it’s sad? Boo! Hoo.
- What do you do when zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween.
- What position does a ghost play in hockey? Ghoulie.
- How do you turn the lights out on Halloween night? Use the lights witch.
- What is in a ghost’s nose? Boo-gers.
- What do you call a skeleton who never does his chores? Lazy bones.
- What did one ghost say to the other? Do you believe in humans?
- How do ghosts send letters? Through the ghost office.
- What does a ghost call a mistake? A boo boo.
- What do ghosts dress up in on Halloween? Pillowcases.
- What do you call two spiders that were just married? Newley webbed.
- What did a zombie tell the other? Get a life!
- What do you call two married spiders? The newly webs.
- Why did the witch take a nap? She needed to rest a spell.
- Where do ghost parents take baby ghosts? Day-scare.
- What transportation does a skeleton take? A skelecopter.

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